he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
