I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Randomize
