She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Vodka?
Forever.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize