oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize