first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
