someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
one two three fourrrrnication!
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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