I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Randomize
