I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i already hear my dad disowning me
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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