My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
