That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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