my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
splinters make it hard to masturbate
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Randomize
