I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
And then my night got REAL pukey
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I enjoy the company of your penis
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
