Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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