That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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