I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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