all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
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