8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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