we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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