so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize