so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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