Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Pants are for mortals
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
