he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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