I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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