Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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