pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize