If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
