I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
