for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
