oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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