the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
