Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
