You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
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