He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
