Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
