epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Edward fifth and chaser hands
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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