Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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