apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize