found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
the condom got lost in my hair
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
