I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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