Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
