He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
