Christians are straight up FREAKS
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
