When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Randomize
