Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You need a sexual gate keeper
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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