Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
