Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I want a musical about memes.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
