this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
drinking out of a sandbucket again
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
