Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
