Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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