she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
