I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
