apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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