Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
