K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
