yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
