Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
So vagazzling was a success
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
