Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm sobbing to NWA
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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