He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
should my penis look like a turkey
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
