So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
