what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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