Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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