So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
